1
00:00:12,670 --> 00:00:14,800
♫♫

2
00:00:26,830 --> 00:00:29,830
Don´t like
the look of that, Guv.

3
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:39,300
Oh, something´s broken
or blocked or flooded,

4
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,670
I don´t know.

5
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:42,070
I´ve got Roger with me.

6
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:43,870
He´s absolutely bloody useless.

7
00:00:43,870 --> 00:00:47,300
But don´t worry, I´ll get to
l´Orangerie in time for dinner,

8
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,500
and you´ll have
my review tomorrow.

9
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,930
The really crucial thing
is my interview

10
00:00:51,930 --> 00:00:53,870
with François the chef.

11
00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:56,770
He´s only a baby
but such a star --

12
00:00:56,770 --> 00:00:59,300
his lobster in truffles
is to die for. Well?

13
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,370
It´s going to take me
an hour and a half

14
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:02,700
to get it back on the road.

15
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,930
Oh, no! It´s going to take
an hour and a half.

16
00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:06,200
Look, I´m starving.

17
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,070
Is there a pub
or something near here

18
00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:09,400
where we could get a sandwich?

19
00:01:14,630 --> 00:01:16,530
Brian.

20
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,730
Well, gentlemen,
It´s a sad day for me

21
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:25,900
because I´m not only losing
a fellow officer,

22
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:28,570
I´m also losing a valued friend.

23
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:31,230
I´m very happy for Brian though.

24
00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:33,000
This promotion is well deserved,

25
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,670
and I´m very happy
for our colleagues up north.

26
00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:38,730
I hope they appreciate
their new Chief Constable.

27
00:01:38,730 --> 00:01:39,930
To Brian.

28
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:41,830
To Brian. Cheers.
Well done.

29
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:46,530
Oh, cheers, Brian.
Congratulations.

30
00:01:46,530 --> 00:01:48,170
Your turn next, Freddy.

31
00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:50,630
I´m very happy
where I am.

32
00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:58,000
So then I said, "Suck it
and see."

33
00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:02,770
I found those petty
cash dockets.

34
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:05,730
Well, I don´t want them,
take them up to Dave.

35
00:02:06,770 --> 00:02:09,000
Oh, and get onto
vehicles for me, sweetheart,

36
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,630
and see if we can
have our car back?

37
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,100
Right.

38
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,730
Sorry, kitchen´s closed.

39
00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:17,070
Are we in time
for something to eat?

40
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,400
Yes, you are, sir.

41
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,730
If you´d like
to take a seat here?

42
00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:23,000
Madame.

43
00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:28,700
Thank you, sir.

44
00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:38,730
Thank you.

45
00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:42,070
I want a green salad --
if such a thing is possible --

46
00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:44,100
no dressing, some
still mineral water, no ice.

47
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,630
Sir?

48
00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:47,730
I´m going to try
the steak and kidney pie.

49
00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:49,170
Good move, that.

50
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,830
Oh, for God´s sake.

51
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:52,130
Could I suggest

52
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,170
the garlic mashed potato
and the buttered cabbage, sir?

53
00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,300
Absolutely, why not?

54
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,300
Madame.

55
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:02,430
Roger, in six hours´ time,

56
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:05,070
you are going to be eating
a five-course dinner

57
00:03:05,070 --> 00:03:07,200
cooked by one of the hottest
chefs in Europe --

58
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,630
a boy who has two Michelin stars

59
00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:10,300
at the age of 25.

60
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,770
Come far?

61
00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:12,970
London.

62
00:03:12,970 --> 00:03:14,870
Don´t encourage him,
for God´s sake.

63
00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:16,970
Awfully busy, London.

64
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,870
It certainly is.

65
00:03:18,870 --> 00:03:20,100
Too busy for us.

66
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,630
I know what you mean.

67
00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:24,270
God, it´s like
being in a Pinter play.

68
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,430
I think
it´s rather amusing here.

69
00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:34,270
Yes, very you, Roger.

70
00:03:34,270 --> 00:03:37,270
Mutton dressed as lamb,
with two veg.

71
00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:42,300
You know,
I´m sure I recognize her.

72
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,030
She looks like an actress.

73
00:03:44,030 --> 00:03:47,900
She looks like a right pain
in the arse.

74
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,770
Hey, hey. She´s a customer.

75
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:52,170
They don´t come here
to be criticized.

76
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:54,230
Now, pie, garlic mash, cabbage.

77
00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:55,900
Lovely. Thank you.

78
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,570
One green salad. Undressed.

79
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,970
Thank you so much.

80
00:04:03,630 --> 00:04:07,070
Hello, Sergeant.
What can we do for you?

81
00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:10,600
Wine. A large glass of wine.

82
00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:20,330
The reason I bring you on these
trips is for the company, Roger.

83
00:04:20,330 --> 00:04:23,200
This is seriously
excellent food, Miranda.

84
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,970
You´re a bit of a peasant
at heart, aren´t you?

85
00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:27,470
It´s quite sweet, really.

86
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:29,470
I´m not kidding.
This is special.

87
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,770
Try some, go on.

88
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,530
Quite good steak.

89
00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:39,100
Been cooked in red wine.

90
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,700
Now try the pastry.

91
00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:47,430
Excellent shortcrust suet.
What´s going on here?

92
00:04:47,430 --> 00:04:48,900
I´m right, aren´t I?

93
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,930
Cabbage is perfectly al dente,

94
00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:57,400
just the right side
of underdone.

95
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,170
Wait ´til you taste
the garlic mash.

96
00:05:01,930 --> 00:05:03,770
Mm.

97
00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:09,570
Mm. My God. To die for.

98
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:10,900
You won´t believe this.

99
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,800
We were on a door-to-door
in Barstock the other day,

100
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,030
and he made me drive six miles
out of my way to do what?

101
00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:18,400
To pick up his wife´s
birthday present.

102
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,070
Bye, Henry.

103
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:23,430
Bye, George, Hilda.

104
00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:26,470
Anyway, I was hoping you could
have a word with Fisher.

105
00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:29,130
You may not believe this
but he listens to you.

106
00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:31,900
He does.

107
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,270
And there´ll be plenty
of opportunity

108
00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:34,270
on the course this weekend.

109
00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:36,570
What course?

110
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,600
The course.
I reminded you twice last week.

111
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,170
Oh, God.

112
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:43,830
Mmm!

113
00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:47,030
What are you doing?

114
00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:49,370
I´m going to write a review
of this place.

115
00:05:49,370 --> 00:05:52,100
I´m going to make it the Feature
Restaurant in my column.

116
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,300
There´s the chef.

117
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,930
God, have I been spotted?

118
00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:57,130
Sorry, darling.

119
00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:59,230
Your fame doesn´t seem to have

120
00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:00,530
penetrated these parts.

121
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:02,130
I´ll soon change that.

122
00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:04,800
In three days time, this place
is going to be hot.

123
00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:15,070
Look at that.

124
00:06:24,370 --> 00:06:27,330
- There you go.
- Thank you, Margaret.

125
00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:29,770
What is this course
about, anyway?

126
00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:32,230
Oh, community policing
or something.

127
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:35,030
You know, even if we can´t catch
the criminals,

128
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:37,430
at least we can be nice
to the victims.

129
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,600
Henry, what are you doing?

130
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,700
Well, these courses always
happen in dodgy hotels,

131
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:46,970
so this is the Henry Crabbe
dodgy hotel survival kit.

132
00:06:46,970 --> 00:06:49,800
You see, I´ve got some very nice
olive oil here,

133
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,930
and I´ve got
some Parmesan cheese,

134
00:06:51,930 --> 00:06:53,430
black pepper and a lemon.

135
00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:56,230
It´s amazing what can be done
with a few simple ingredients.

136
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:57,630
We´re in the paper.

137
00:06:57,630 --> 00:06:59,500
I knew I recognized that woman.

138
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,600
What woman?

139
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:01,700
Miranda Bishop.

140
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:03,170
She was here
a couple of days ago.

141
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,800
She just happens to be
one of the foremost food critics

142
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:06,830
in the country.

143
00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,000
And she has given us
a rave review.

144
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,900
She´s written about
Pie in the Sky?

145
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,900
Listen to this -- "The
restaurant critic´s dream

146
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,670
"is to stumble upon
undiscovered delights,

147
00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:17,970
and this dream came true for me
at Pie in the Sky in Middleton."

148
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,000
Ooh-ooh!

149
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000
"The steak and kidney pie

150
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,500
"was a revelation,

151
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,300
"first class ingredients cooked
in a faultless red wine gravy.

152
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:27,200
"A miraculous shortcrust
suet pastry,

153
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,900
"beautifully crusty on top while
the underside was permeated

154
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,870
with ambrosial juices."

155
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:36,170
"The garlic mash was a perfectly
judged blend of potato, oil,

156
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,200
"garlic and milk.

157
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,800
"This dreamy confection alone

158
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:39,970
"was worth a detour.

159
00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:42,370
"One of the best meals
I have eaten,

160
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:43,830
and almost comically cheap."

161
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,900
Henry, "comically cheap."

162
00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:47,030
Margaret, the meals that woman

163
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,500
normally eats
are comically expensive.

164
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,270
Hello, Pie in the Sky?

165
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:54,370
"If you go to Pie in the
Sky, and I urge you to do so,

166
00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:58,470
"be prepared for some seriously
eccentric fellow diners...

167
00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:01,570
"the local femme fatale,
old enough to know better,

168
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,970
made come-hither eyes
at my companion."

169
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,000
Well, charming.

170
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,800
That was Mrs. Goring!

171
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,470
Table for four, 8:00 and will
the garlic mash be on the menu?

172
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,200
You see, I said
a little publicity

173
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,970
would make a great
deal of difference.

174
00:08:17,970 --> 00:08:19,370
There´ll be a price to pay.

175
00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:20,730
What do you mean?

176
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:21,900
Ready, sir.

177
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,530
Ah, thanks, Cambridge.

178
00:08:23,530 --> 00:08:24,530
All right?

179
00:08:24,530 --> 00:08:28,170
Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

180
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,070
Hello, Pie in the Sky.

181
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,200
I went on one of these
community policing courses

182
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,530
two years ago.

183
00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:42,830
It´s nothing to do with
community policing, Crabbe.

184
00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:44,630
it´s a Management Development
seminar.

185
00:08:44,630 --> 00:08:46,700
The Chief Constable
discovered it in America,

186
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:50,070
so I suppose we can expect a lot
of Mid-Atlantic psychobabble.

187
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,470
There will be teams
from other regions there,

188
00:08:53,470 --> 00:08:54,930
so I want you both
to pull your weight.

189
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:56,330
No matter how silly
you think it is.

190
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,230
Hmm.

191
00:09:00,230 --> 00:09:03,130
Bad news, Crabbe,
there´s another restaurant

192
00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:04,730
called "Pie in the Sky."

193
00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:07,970
Miranda Bishop says here

194
00:09:07,970 --> 00:09:09,770
that it was the best meal
she´s had this year.

195
00:09:09,770 --> 00:09:11,400
Oh, well, I suppose
there´ll be some people

196
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,300
who´ll think she´s writing about
your restaurant.

197
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:16,930
As a matter of fact, she is
writing about my place, sir.

198
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,870
Restaurant reviews --
frivolous nonsense.

199
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:35,330
Hello, Pie in the Sky.

200
00:09:35,330 --> 00:09:39,500
Oh, I am sorry, the kitchen
closes at 9:00, I´m afraid.

201
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,530
Okay, one potato pancake,

202
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:41,830
creme fraiche,
hold the salmon roe.

203
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,800
You´ll be in before eight.
That´s fine. Thank you.

204
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,230
Bill for table 6.

205
00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:48,330
Creme fraiche, two pies, one
mash, one chips, two sprouts.

206
00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:50,130
One pie and mash, one cod,
chips and mushy peas.

207
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:51,530
Come on, Steve,
where are my soups?

208
00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:54,000
Yeah, Henderson, more salmon roe
out of the fridge.

209
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:02,300
We would like to
remind guests that management

210
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,870
is not responsible for valuables
left unattended --

211
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,870
I´ll have you shown to your
rooms immediately, Mr. Fisher.

212
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,600
You may then wish to partake

213
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,570
of the cold buffet
in the Refectory.

214
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:16,870
And your introductory session
is in the Orwell Suite at 2:30.

215
00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:17,970
2:30.

216
00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:21,530
Are they with
Management Development?

217
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:24,000
Oh, good Lord, no.

218
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,670
They´re Fantasy Software.

219
00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:27,970
They´re in the Beckett Wing.

220
00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:29,400
Thank God for that.

221
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:34,170
£484,
24p.

222
00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:38,670
That´s our best lunch ever.
And the tips were good, too.

223
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,830
Those businessmen on table 5
left 15 quid.

224
00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:42,800
Yeah, they were really sweet.

225
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,830
It´s women who are the worst
tippers -- No question.

226
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,930
Not in my experience,
they´re not.

227
00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:50,070
- So, Nicola.
- Thank you.

228
00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:51,830
- John.
- Thank you.

229
00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:54,930
Steve, and Henderson.

230
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,670
All right, Henderson?

231
00:10:58,670 --> 00:11:01,830
Yeah. Yeah, fine. Well, I´m off.

232
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:04,170
I´ve got half a field
full of spuds to lift.

233
00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:05,200
- See you.
- Bye.

234
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,200
Bye.

235
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:11,300
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Trapnel,

236
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,300
I´m afraid
you´re too late for lunch.

237
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,630
Lunch?

238
00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:18,570
Do you really think we´d
come here for lunch after this?

239
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:21,230
"We were harangued

240
00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,500
"by an incoherent,
blazered old buffer

241
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,970
while his wife
gazed vacantly into space."

242
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:28,230
I know, that´s awful.

243
00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,630
They´re as good
as saying we´re senile.

244
00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:32,800
And poor Betty Goring
won´t leave the house

245
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,330
after what they wrote about her.

246
00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:36,630
"Femme fatale" indeed.

247
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:40,230
I really am very sorry, we have
no control over what they say.

248
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:43,070
We shan´t be coming here again.

249
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,800
Oh, George, Hilda?

250
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,800
Please stay and have a drink.

251
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:53,130
Well, the show must go on.

252
00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:00,900
And the last course I went on,

253
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:03,770
they put us up in this four-star
hotel in the Lakes,

254
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:05,830
it was just brilliant.

255
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:07,930
Jacuzzi, tennis courts,
the full monty.

256
00:12:07,930 --> 00:12:10,070
John Major
stayed there once apparently.

257
00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:13,770
Anyway, the food was all French,
you know, haute cuisine,

258
00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:15,230
sauces on everything,

259
00:12:15,230 --> 00:12:17,970
and we were like,
"God, I could murder a curry."

260
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:20,770
So anyway, Darren Cox --
you know Darren,

261
00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:22,070
he was at Hendon with you --

262
00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:24,000
he said there was a tandoori
about five miles away,

263
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,030
so me and him were just going to
nip out and pick up a take-away.

264
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,970
Ladies and gentlemen,

265
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:47,370
welcome to this Management
Development seminar.

266
00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:48,770
Perhaps we could start

267
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:50,770
by introducing ourselves,

268
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,530
and can I suggest
that you don´t use your rank?

269
00:12:54,530 --> 00:12:56,400
Let´s see if we can´t dispense

270
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,470
with that particular crutch
for the time being.

271
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:02,130
I´m your facilitator,
Stephen Parrish.

272
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:06,170
I´m Kevin Wright,
Stephen´s assistant.

273
00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:08,600
My name is Sophia Cambridge.

274
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,000
Freddy Fisher.

275
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,200
Henry Crabbe.

276
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,670
You hear about Brian Sutton?

277
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:14,700
Who?

278
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,370
Brian Sutton,
he´s been promoted.

279
00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:18,870
Chief Constable, Brian Sutton.

280
00:13:18,870 --> 00:13:22,430
That´s good.
Bad?

281
00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:26,030
Can you run through the names
of the group for me, Freddy?

282
00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:30,400
Oh, Paul something,
Clive Hodgkiss, was it?

283
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,430
Can you name everyone
at the table, Sophia?

284
00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:36,470
Paul Connolly, Jan Hart.

285
00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,500
Yes, now you wrote them
down, didn´t you?

286
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,100
Yes.

287
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:44,170
Whereas you didn´t make a note
of everyone´s names, Freddy.

288
00:13:44,170 --> 00:13:46,670
What were you writing?
May I see?

289
00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:50,800
It´s nothing. It´s a doodle.

290
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,630
Ooh, I wouldn´t say
this was nothing.

291
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:03,000
Look at these 10 dots.

292
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,070
Perhaps they represent
the 10 of you.

293
00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:10,930
Look at each dot surrounded
by a circle or a square.

294
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:13,170
Isolating them from each other,

295
00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:17,230
perhaps that´s
how you feel at the moment --

296
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,600
isolated from one another.

297
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,030
It´s just a doodle.

298
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:21,970
Well, okay,

299
00:14:21,970 --> 00:14:24,970
but there´s no harm in treating
it as a visual metaphor?

300
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:31,100
What we must do, all of us,
for the next three days,

301
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:34,200
is learn to question everything.

302
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,730
Look at each moment

303
00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:39,930
as it passes, try to see it
as a metaphor and deduce

304
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:44,070
what it´s saying
about how we conduct ourselves

305
00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:46,570
in the work environment, yah?

306
00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:50,170
Henry, may we see
what you´ve written?

307
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,730
Oh no, really,
it´s all right, thanks.

308
00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:56,030
No, please. It´s okay, really.

309
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,070
Thank you.

310
00:15:07,070 --> 00:15:08,670
"Skin the tomatoes and chop them

311
00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:11,000
while the garlic and onions
are frying in oil."

312
00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:16,100
It´s an idea I had for a sauce.

313
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:20,230
For a dish with fish.
Cod, say.

314
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:22,800
It´s a recipe?

315
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:27,130
Well, can´t it be a metaphor,
Stephen?

316
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:32,100
"To record outgoing messages,

317
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:36,930
"press buttons A and B
simultaneously,

318
00:15:36,930 --> 00:15:39,530
and speak through C."

319
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:47,630
Hello, you have
reached Pie in the Sky,

320
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:50,370
but we´re very busy
at the moment,

321
00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:53,700
so wait for the bleep
and leave a message.

322
00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:58,830
I thought I told you
to make an effort, Crabbe.

323
00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:02,130
Let´s see if we can come out
of this with our dignity intact.

324
00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:04,900
Would Nurse Jenkins please

325
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,770
report to the Aerobics room
immediately.

326
00:16:07,770 --> 00:16:09,930
You won´t forget, will you, sir?

327
00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,470
Forget what, Cambridge?

328
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:15,000
To have a word
with Fisher about my job.

329
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,770
I don´t know, I´ll see.

330
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,530
"Brian Sutton´s been promoted."

331
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,600
"Talk to Fisher about my job."

332
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,300
"Try to see it all
as a metaphor."

333
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:42,200
God, I could do with a metaphor
for the whole pack of them.

334
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,800
Hello.

335
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,800
Margaret, it´s me.

336
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,170
You have reached
Pie in the Sky,

337
00:16:58,170 --> 00:17:00,400
but we´re very busy
at the moment,

338
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,930
so wait for the bleep
and leave a message.

339
00:17:04,430 --> 00:17:06,570
The marvellous thing
is you can listen in

340
00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:08,000
when someone sends a message.

341
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,500
Margaret, what´s going on.

342
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,830
It´s Henry.
I wonder what he wants.

343
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:15,000
Maybe you should
pick it up and find out.

344
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,830
Oh, God.
Hello, Henry.

345
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,700
How do you like
our new answering machine?

346
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,630
Oh, God, an answering machine.

347
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:27,070
And we have had
the best lunch ever.

348
00:17:27,070 --> 00:17:28,270
Well, that´s great.

349
00:17:28,270 --> 00:17:30,800
Look, has Steve
phoned the butcher´s yet?

350
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,400
I´ll put him on. Butcher.

351
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,000
Hello, Chef.
We had a brilliant lunch.

352
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,330
So I hear.

353
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:38,930
Listen, have you phoned
Plummer yet?

354
00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:41,200
We need some more steak
and kidney for tomorrow night.

355
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,370
Don´t worry, Chef, it´s all
under control. See ya.

356
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:45,000
Okay, I´ll try and ring later.

357
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:47,730
Come in.

358
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,730
That´s it. Last straw.

359
00:17:54,730 --> 00:17:55,770
What is?

360
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,770
Been robbed.

361
00:17:57,770 --> 00:18:01,600
Credit cards. Money. Keys.
Gone from my room. You?

362
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,570
Well, I haven´t
got a credit card.

363
00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:07,130
Margaret won´t let me have them.

364
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:10,830
Downstairs, five minutes.

365
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,400
And an Amex card, about 30 quid
in cash and a Walkman.

366
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,770
Thank you.

367
00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:28,200
Everyone reports something
missing except D.I. Crabbe.

368
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,600
Thank you, Sergeant.

369
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,500
Thank you, sir.

370
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,700
Fletcher, you know the local
Superintendent, I believe.

371
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:37,000
Yes, Harry Davies,
he´s a good bloke.

372
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,630
All right, you tell
the hotel manager

373
00:18:38,630 --> 00:18:40,130
that you´ll liaise
with the local police.

374
00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:41,500
Get your pal Davies over here.

375
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,930
You can imagine what a field day

376
00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,970
the local uniforms would have
with all this.

377
00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:46,870
Not to mention the local press.

378
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:48,300
God, yes, it´s just
the sort of thing

379
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,600
the nationals would pick up on.

380
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,270
Right, damage limitation
is the name of the game here.

381
00:18:52,270 --> 00:18:55,100
Right, we better get in
for the next dose of nonsense.

382
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:59,570
I suppose catching the thief
is out of the question?

383
00:19:01,630 --> 00:19:03,770
Sophia, right? Nice name.

384
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,500
I was hoping there´d
be a gym here

385
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:08,800
or at least a swimming pool.

386
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,870
I get really stressed
when I can´t work out.

387
00:19:10,870 --> 00:19:12,270
Really?

388
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:16,600
- Do you work out?
- No.

389
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,770
The exercise I want you
to take part in now

390
00:19:18,770 --> 00:19:24,930
is about concentration,
identification and possession.

391
00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:29,870
Loss, too, perhaps,
which may be relevant

392
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:33,600
as we are all suffering the loss
of personal possessions,

393
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,630
including a computer
which should never have

394
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:40,930
been left unattended
in the first place, Kevin.

395
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,970
And I want you all
to close your eyes.

396
00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:48,730
Close your eyes, please.

397
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:49,800
Thank you.

398
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,030
Now, while they´re closed,

399
00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:55,530
Kevin will give you
a lemon each.

400
00:19:55,530 --> 00:20:00,230
You have 10 minutes
to familiarize yourselves

401
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:04,030
with your lemon by touch alone.

402
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:07,770
I want you to focus completely

403
00:20:07,770 --> 00:20:10,730
on the physical characteristics

404
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:14,270
of your lemon.

405
00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:17,130
Eyes.

406
00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:21,230
Last straw.
Absolute last bloody straw.

407
00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:26,930
Wait for the bleep,
and leave a message.

408
00:20:28,070 --> 00:20:33,000
Crabbe, it´s Plummer here.

409
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,200
Did you want more rump and ox
kidneys for the weekend?

410
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,730
You better let me know
by the end of the day

411
00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:39,970
so I can put some to one side.
Cheers.

412
00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:42,600
Right, eyes still closed,
please.

413
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,830
Now place your lemons
on the table in front of you.

414
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,370
Kevin will collect them
and place them together

415
00:20:49,370 --> 00:20:50,530
in the center
of the table.

416
00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:52,700
When are you going
to let us know

417
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,170
what all this is in aid of?

418
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,130
I think we´ll only find that out
by talking about it, don´t you?

419
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,330
Remember, think metaphor.

420
00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:02,230
Okay, now

421
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:04,230
open your eyes and see

422
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:09,470
if you can pick out your lemon
from the others on the table.

423
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,330
I think you´ll find
there are several

424
00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:25,070
with thumb nail marks, Freddy.

425
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:26,170
All right, Henry?

426
00:21:26,170 --> 00:21:27,770
Marvellous, thanks.

427
00:21:27,770 --> 00:21:30,530
Right then, if you would resume
your seats, please,

428
00:21:30,530 --> 00:21:33,300
and place your lemons
on the table in front of you.

429
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:40,270
Well now, we have got a problem.

430
00:21:40,270 --> 00:21:43,470
Or rather, one of you
has got a problem, I should say.

431
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,030
Is that your lemon, Henry?

432
00:21:45,030 --> 00:21:48,130
Yes, that is my lemon.

433
00:21:48,130 --> 00:21:52,070
No, no, no, I am sorry, that
is not your lemon, Henry.

434
00:21:52,070 --> 00:21:54,070
I know that is not your lemon.

435
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:58,570
Now, which of you is minus
a lemon, because whoever it is,

436
00:21:58,570 --> 00:22:01,100
I think you´ll find
that Henry...

437
00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:09,100
Are you absolutely sure
that´s your lemon, Henry?

438
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:12,930
Yes, I know that´s my lemon,
Stephen.

439
00:22:12,930 --> 00:22:16,270
Look, what is the problem?

440
00:22:16,270 --> 00:22:17,800
We´ve all got
our flaming lemons.

441
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,430
I feel as though
I´m married to mine.

442
00:22:24,330 --> 00:22:29,630
Well now, this is very
interesting, isn´t it?

443
00:22:29,630 --> 00:22:32,400
Would you like to talk it
through, Stephen?

444
00:22:36,530 --> 00:22:38,400
The Cresswell Grill.

445
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,870
A full vegetarian menu
with a topical theme --

446
00:22:40,870 --> 00:22:43,570
a tropical theme is available.

447
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:45,630
Officer,

448
00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:47,630
I´ve got a maid in my office.

449
00:22:47,630 --> 00:22:50,630
She´s very upset.
Perhaps you could help.

450
00:22:57,130 --> 00:23:01,000
Calm down, calm down,
don´t worry,

451
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,830
calm down.

452
00:23:02,830 --> 00:23:04,070
Does she speak English?

453
00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:05,770
Well, she´s supposed to.

454
00:23:05,770 --> 00:23:08,670
¿Esta bien?
Calmate.

455
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:10,770
I lost the key.

456
00:23:10,770 --> 00:23:12,030
The key, I lost it.

457
00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:13,770
What key?

458
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:30,730
I´ve never indulged
in self-pity, Crabbe.

459
00:23:30,730 --> 00:23:33,430
Self-pity is a terrible thing.

460
00:23:33,430 --> 00:23:34,870
Oh, terrible, sir, yes,
terrible.

461
00:23:34,870 --> 00:23:36,030
Self-pity and fear --

462
00:23:36,030 --> 00:23:38,430
two great enemies
of personal advancement.

463
00:23:38,430 --> 00:23:41,430
What on earth is that?

464
00:23:41,430 --> 00:23:45,800
Olive oil, sir.
Would you care for some?

465
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,900
Self-pity and fear.

466
00:23:49,900 --> 00:23:51,070
What do you want, Sergeant?

467
00:23:51,070 --> 00:23:52,670
Sorry to interrupt, sir,

468
00:23:52,670 --> 00:23:53,900
but the maid
who cleans our floor

469
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,400
lost her passkey
a couple of days ago.

470
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,600
Now, she did take another one
from the housekeeper´s office,

471
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,100
but the minute she heard
about the thefts --

472
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:00,600
Not our problem, Cambridge.

473
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,330
Just thought you´d like
a progress report, sir.

474
00:24:03,330 --> 00:24:04,870
Tell whatsit, Fletcher,
about it.

475
00:24:04,870 --> 00:24:06,800
- He´s in with the local C.I.D.
- Sir.

476
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,130
Yes,

477
00:24:10,130 --> 00:24:13,370
self-pity and fear.

478
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:17,370
I´ve never been bothered
with either...until last week.

479
00:24:19,570 --> 00:24:21,130
When I started this job,

480
00:24:21,130 --> 00:24:23,970
I drew up my life plan
on a piece of paper.

481
00:24:23,970 --> 00:24:27,900
I´ve still got it at home.

482
00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:30,330
Constable at the bottom,

483
00:24:30,330 --> 00:24:33,070
Commissioner of the Met.
at the top,

484
00:24:33,070 --> 00:24:34,130
and all the ranks in between

485
00:24:34,130 --> 00:24:35,600
with the dates I wanted
to achieve them.

486
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,130
And do you know something?

487
00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:39,700
Until last week
I was on schedule.

488
00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:40,870
Really?

489
00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:45,430
There I was
in Brian Sutton´s office,

490
00:24:45,430 --> 00:24:46,770
drinking to his promotion.

491
00:24:46,770 --> 00:24:50,630
And I suddenly saw the whole
scheme coming unraveled

492
00:24:50,630 --> 00:24:52,200
before my very eyes.

493
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,430
Brian Sutton --
Chief Constable.

494
00:24:54,430 --> 00:24:59,230
Well, I rarely plan more than
a day ahead

495
00:24:59,230 --> 00:25:02,570
and even that
usually ends in disappointment.

496
00:25:02,570 --> 00:25:03,930
That´s when it occurred to me

497
00:25:03,930 --> 00:25:05,870
that maybe I should
get out of the job.

498
00:25:05,870 --> 00:25:09,770
I´m still a young man,

499
00:25:09,770 --> 00:25:12,630
I could get a good job
in the private sector.

500
00:25:12,630 --> 00:25:15,400
But leave it another year
or two and, well,

501
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,130
those poor sods you see

502
00:25:17,130 --> 00:25:21,330
hanging about at reunions.

503
00:25:21,330 --> 00:25:23,430
Are you really thinking
of leaving the job, sir?

504
00:25:23,430 --> 00:25:27,370
Perhaps.

505
00:25:28,770 --> 00:25:30,670
Anyway, I got him
in the back of the car,

506
00:25:30,670 --> 00:25:32,430
and I thought I´d drive him
back to the nick.

507
00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:33,730
And I got there and I thought,

508
00:25:33,730 --> 00:25:35,700
well, I´ll leave him in the back
of the car overnight.

509
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,700
He throws up
all over the back seat.

510
00:25:37,700 --> 00:25:39,230
Can I get you another one?

511
00:25:39,230 --> 00:25:40,430
No, thanks.

512
00:25:40,430 --> 00:25:44,830
So, what do you think
of the course?

513
00:25:44,830 --> 00:25:46,830
Not much.

514
00:25:46,830 --> 00:25:48,700
Policing is a people business.

515
00:25:48,700 --> 00:25:52,100
Maybe it makes sense to find out
a bit about ourselves.

516
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:53,430
We´re people, too.

517
00:25:53,430 --> 00:25:57,170
I´m sure I´ve seen
that on a T-shirt.

518
00:25:57,170 --> 00:26:00,930
Look, I´m sorry.
Just trying to be friendly.

519
00:26:00,930 --> 00:26:03,230
You have to relate

520
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,270
to some pretty weird people
in this job.

521
00:26:05,270 --> 00:26:09,670
Sometimes it requires
a bit of effort.

522
00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:11,530
Well, maybe that´s
why I´m beginning to think

523
00:26:11,530 --> 00:26:12,530
it´s not the job for me.

524
00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:15,500
You´re thinking of getting out?

525
00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:17,770
Do you want to talk about it?

526
00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:19,930
No.

527
00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:30,030
We´ll have
that drink another time.

528
00:26:30,030 --> 00:26:31,430
Better believe it.

529
00:26:44,430 --> 00:26:45,570
Where are they taking her?

530
00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:46,800
Down to the local nick.

531
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,770
They´re not charging
her, are they?

532
00:26:48,770 --> 00:26:51,970
Nah, just going
to rattle her cage a bit.

533
00:26:54,470 --> 00:26:57,230
Can I order a taxi
for Middleton, please?

534
00:26:57,230 --> 00:26:59,630
- Certainly.
- You know that maid?

535
00:26:59,630 --> 00:27:02,300
They´ve taken her down to the
local nick, can you believe it?

536
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:03,900
She owns up
to losing her passkey,

537
00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:05,270
and gets a going over.

538
00:27:05,270 --> 00:27:08,300
It´s not our patch.
Not our problem.

539
00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:09,630
An hotel full of policemen

540
00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:11,700
and that´s the best
we can come up with?

541
00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:14,800
Good night.

542
00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:27,500
Nicola, how are we doing
on table 5?

543
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,100
They´ve just ordered dessert.

544
00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:31,770
Thank God.
Tell Steve it´s top priority.

545
00:27:31,770 --> 00:27:35,600
Right, two treacle tarts
for table 5, please, Steve.

546
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,430
- Pie here, John.
- Great. Liver and bacon?

547
00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:40,500
Yeah, it´s on its way, look.

548
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:43,030
My treacle tarts first, there
are punters waiting for table 5.

549
00:27:43,030 --> 00:27:45,770
Look, I can´t stop in the middle
of doing liver, now can I?

550
00:27:45,770 --> 00:27:47,230
- Hello, Chef.
- Hi.

551
00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:48,900
Hello.

552
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:51,130
Hey, Crabbe,
have you got one moment?

553
00:27:51,130 --> 00:27:52,530
No, Henderson, no.

554
00:27:52,530 --> 00:27:54,930
I want to talk to you
about sharing out the tips.

555
00:27:54,930 --> 00:27:56,130
Look, Henderson --

556
00:27:56,130 --> 00:27:57,700
I don´t think it´s right.

557
00:27:57,700 --> 00:27:59,830
Not now.

558
00:27:59,830 --> 00:28:02,100
What´s he on about?

559
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,600
I think Henderson´s angling

560
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:04,830
for a bigger share of the tips.

561
00:28:04,830 --> 00:28:06,930
Over my dead body.

562
00:28:06,930 --> 00:28:09,800
I´m hungry.

563
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,930
How much longer
have we got to wait?

564
00:28:12,930 --> 00:28:14,830
I´m so sorry about that.

565
00:28:14,830 --> 00:28:17,800
I promise you your table will be
ready in 10 minutes´ time.

566
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,430
So, in the meantime,

567
00:28:19,430 --> 00:28:22,270
please would you accept
another drink on the house?

568
00:28:22,270 --> 00:28:23,330
Thank you so much.

569
00:28:23,330 --> 00:28:25,730
What´s going on?

570
00:28:25,730 --> 00:28:28,100
We´re busy,
that´s what´s going on.

571
00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:30,670
Good God, Margaret, are you
doing double sittings now?

572
00:28:30,670 --> 00:28:34,330
Look, Henry, those people rang,
booked a table for 8:30,

573
00:28:34,330 --> 00:28:36,530
then someone else rang and said
they wanted to eat earlier --

574
00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:39,970
Yes, all right,
we´ll talk about it later.

575
00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:42,600
And what´s this?
Three course dinner, 11.99.

576
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,700
Henry, I put the prices up.
Right.

577
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,800
Are you all right, Steve?

578
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,000
Yeah, fine. I´ve done
most of the main courses now.

579
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,970
Good man.

580
00:28:54,970 --> 00:28:56,570
Well, I´m going to put the meat

581
00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:58,730
for tomorrow´s pies
in to marinade.

582
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:03,970
Steve,

583
00:29:03,970 --> 00:29:06,200
where´s the rump
and kidneys for tomorrow?

584
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,470
Oh.

585
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,430
Crabbe, it´s Plummer here.

586
00:29:14,430 --> 00:29:16,730
Did you want more rump and ox
kidneys for the weekend?

587
00:29:16,730 --> 00:29:18,230
Better let me know
by the end of the day,

588
00:29:18,230 --> 00:29:20,400
so I can put some to one side.
Cheers.

589
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,000
Oh, Henry, I am sorry.

590
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,300
I thought I´d listened
to all the messages.

591
00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:28,800
Damn machine.

592
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,400
Can´t you call him tomorrow?

593
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:31,600
Tomorrow´s Saturday.

594
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,170
He may not have saved us any.

595
00:29:33,170 --> 00:29:35,870
Didn´t you hear what he said
on the -- oh, never mind.

596
00:29:35,870 --> 00:29:37,170
Most important,

597
00:29:37,170 --> 00:29:39,630
will you please, please, please

598
00:29:39,630 --> 00:29:42,000
not double

599
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,470
All right, I agree,
that was a bad idea.

600
00:29:44,470 --> 00:29:48,570
But, Henry, I am not putting
prices down.

601
00:29:48,570 --> 00:29:50,200
We´ve had people here tonight

602
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,730
from Oxford, London,
all over the place.

603
00:29:52,730 --> 00:29:54,630
Margaret, it won´t last.

604
00:29:54,630 --> 00:29:57,000
It might.

605
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,770
And if it doesn´t,
then I´ll put the prices down.

606
00:29:59,770 --> 00:30:01,000
Freddy Fisher´s

607
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,700
thinking of taking
early retirement, you know.

608
00:30:03,700 --> 00:30:05,530
What´s that got to do
with anything?

609
00:30:05,530 --> 00:30:07,370
Well, if he does,
I might be able to.

610
00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:09,430
All the more reason
to be business-like here

611
00:30:09,430 --> 00:30:11,270
with you hanging around
on half a pension.

612
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:29,270
Okay, there is one
information pack per group.

613
00:30:29,270 --> 00:30:33,770
Inside you will find a map,
a map reading compass,

614
00:30:33,770 --> 00:30:36,030
a list of grid references

615
00:30:36,030 --> 00:30:40,800
and the psychological profile
of a fictional suspect.

616
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:45,730
Based on that profile, you must
deduce which of the locations

617
00:30:45,730 --> 00:30:49,300
is the suspect´s
most likely hiding place.

618
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:53,330
And yes, there is a prize for
the team that finds him first.

619
00:30:53,330 --> 00:30:55,900
Okay, off you go.

620
00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:59,830
I´m sure you both know what
to do, more than me.

621
00:31:04,270 --> 00:31:05,800
Oh yeah, we´ll be fine.

622
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,730
I´ve done loads and loads
of orienteering.

623
00:31:07,730 --> 00:31:10,130
And I think we should start
over there with the church.

624
00:31:10,130 --> 00:31:12,200
You can see the spire
above those trees, look.

625
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,870
May I see the map
for a moment, please?

626
00:31:13,870 --> 00:31:16,300
Do you want to check
the bearing?

627
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:18,370
Crabbe No, no, no,
wouldn´t dream of it.

628
00:31:18,370 --> 00:31:25,900
Ah, yes now, that must be
the hotel so we are...here.

629
00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:30,270
Yes. Good, right off we go,
then.

630
00:31:30,270 --> 00:31:33,670
I´ll be right behind you.

631
00:31:59,630 --> 00:32:01,670
It´s just down here.

632
00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:03,200
No, that can´t be right.

633
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,300
Look at how close these
contour lines are together.

634
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:06,500
They´re practically vertical.

635
00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:07,600
I disagree.

636
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,100
With a stream at the bottom.

637
00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:10,530
Can we just get on with it?

638
00:32:10,530 --> 00:32:11,700
I thought this exercise

639
00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:13,100
was supposed
to be about teamwork.

640
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:15,430
I was on the West
Midlands Orienteering team.

641
00:32:15,430 --> 00:32:17,170
Yes, so you keep telling us.

642
00:32:17,170 --> 00:32:19,730
Look, all I want to know
is how much bloody further?!

643
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,470
Did you see who that was?

644
00:32:21,470 --> 00:32:22,570
No.

645
00:32:22,570 --> 00:32:23,830
That was the maid from the hotel

646
00:32:23,830 --> 00:32:25,800
and the boy who was with
the Fantasy Software group.

647
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,070
He was hanging around outside
our rooms the afternoon

648
00:32:28,070 --> 00:32:29,170
we were burgled.

649
00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:30,370
Fantasy Software

650
00:32:30,370 --> 00:32:32,130
checked out
first thing this morning.

651
00:32:32,130 --> 00:32:34,830
Well, what was
he doing on our floor?!

652
00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:28,570
Hello?

653
00:33:28,570 --> 00:33:30,700
Steve, did Plummer
get the steak and kidney?

654
00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:32,000
No, all I could
get was mince.

655
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,070
Mince?!

656
00:33:33,070 --> 00:33:34,600
Yeah, 15 pounds
of minced beef,

657
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,330
that´s all Plummer had so I
told him to bring it round.

658
00:33:37,330 --> 00:33:40,600
Oh, God, well, we´ll just have
to do cottage pie, then.

659
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,770
We´ll have to do it as soon
as possible, do you mind that?

660
00:33:43,770 --> 00:33:45,200
No, that´s all right, Chef.

661
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,230
Sweat some onions
in butter and oil.

662
00:33:48,230 --> 00:33:50,500
Salt -- no, no, don´t use salt,

663
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:52,130
use some of that anchovy sauce
towards the end.

664
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:53,500
Don´t worry, Chef, I can do it.

665
00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:55,470
And keep it simmering
during the afternoon,

666
00:33:55,470 --> 00:33:57,730
and who knows, we might
just get away with it.

667
00:33:57,730 --> 00:34:01,200
All right, Chef. Okay, bye.

668
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,430
But I don´t mind about exams,
I actually quite like them.

669
00:34:14,170 --> 00:34:16,200
Right, now this is

670
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,030
the Lloyd Richards
questionnaire --

671
00:34:19,030 --> 00:34:22,570
a test for defining
psychological types

672
00:34:22,570 --> 00:34:24,830
based on Jungian theories.

673
00:34:24,830 --> 00:34:29,500
Answer A or B
to all 85 questions.

674
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:33,070
Do not write your names
on the form.

675
00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:36,730
We will identify your form
from the number on the top.

676
00:34:36,730 --> 00:34:40,670
These are strictly confidential
and will be returned to you

677
00:34:40,670 --> 00:34:43,030
after your debriefing
with me tomorrow.

678
00:34:43,030 --> 00:34:44,630
Good work, Sergeant.

679
00:34:44,630 --> 00:34:47,200
Thank you, sir.

680
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:52,630
Ah.

681
00:34:52,630 --> 00:34:55,430
You may begin.

682
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,500
- Good evening, Mr. Crabbe.
- Hello, Nicola.

683
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,070
Hello, Pie in the Sky.

684
00:35:03,070 --> 00:35:06,530
Oh, I´m sorry, we don´t have
a table at all tonight.

685
00:35:06,530 --> 00:35:09,830
But try again soon.
Thank you, bye.

686
00:35:09,830 --> 00:35:10,930
Hello, Henry.

687
00:35:10,930 --> 00:35:13,130
We´re fully booked
on Wednesday night.

688
00:35:13,130 --> 00:35:16,030
Have you thought about upstairs?

689
00:35:16,030 --> 00:35:17,970
We could always get
a card table in the bath.

690
00:35:17,970 --> 00:35:20,400
Put a couple of punters
either end.

691
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,900
Very funny.

692
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:25,570
I did something
rather impulsive today.

693
00:35:25,570 --> 00:35:26,870
Oh?

694
00:35:26,870 --> 00:35:29,870
Yes, we were doing these
psychological tests, you know,

695
00:35:29,870 --> 00:35:32,070
and I swapped my papers
with Fisher´s.

696
00:35:32,070 --> 00:35:33,700
Why ever did you do that?

697
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:35,530
Well, you know
I told you Fisher

698
00:35:35,530 --> 00:35:37,470
was thinking about
taking early retirement.

699
00:35:37,470 --> 00:35:39,500
Well, I thought
it just might tip the balance.

700
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:40,870
You know, if they assessed him

701
00:35:40,870 --> 00:35:42,770
on the basis
of my personality, not his.

702
00:35:42,770 --> 00:35:43,900
Good, eh?

703
00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:48,100
It´s terrible. Poor man. Nicola.

704
00:35:52,170 --> 00:35:54,600
Oh, God, it´s not
still cooking, is it?

705
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,630
I wasn´t able to start
it until gone three.

706
00:35:58,630 --> 00:36:00,800
It will have to reduce
much more.

707
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:05,600
This machine
is really playing up.

708
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,870
Have we got any more
of this anchovy sauce?

709
00:36:12,370 --> 00:36:13,800
All right, all right.

710
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,100
Look, I´ll need it
for the leek and carrot soup.

711
00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:17,800
Well, you´ll just have
to go upstairs

712
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,430
and get the old one, won´t you?

713
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,870
Can I have a quick word,
Mr. Crabbe?

714
00:36:29,870 --> 00:36:31,400
Yes, John.

715
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,530
I´d just like to say
that if you´re giving Henderson

716
00:36:33,530 --> 00:36:35,170
a larger share of the tips,
they should be

717
00:36:35,170 --> 00:36:36,730
coming out
of Nicola´s share, not mine.

718
00:36:36,730 --> 00:36:38,030
John.

719
00:36:38,030 --> 00:36:40,270
Don´t get me wrong, Nicola
is doing very, very well,

720
00:36:40,270 --> 00:36:41,300
but she´s still learning.

721
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:43,300
I´ve got so much more experience
than her.

722
00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:45,330
I´ve worked at the Savoy Hotel,
the Hyde Park Hotel --

723
00:36:45,330 --> 00:36:46,630
John, John --

724
00:36:46,630 --> 00:36:49,130
Langan´s, I mean you can´t
say that´s not a bad C.V.

725
00:36:49,130 --> 00:36:53,230
Yes, no, John, look, Henderson
is not getting any more money.

726
00:36:53,230 --> 00:36:55,770
The arrangement
is staying exactly the same

727
00:36:55,770 --> 00:36:58,470
as it always was, and whilst
I yield to no one

728
00:36:58,470 --> 00:37:00,230
in my admiration of your C.V.,

729
00:37:00,230 --> 00:37:02,000
I notice that you didn´t mention

730
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,100
the Knebditch International
Hotel and Conference Centre

731
00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:07,370
which is where you were working
when I first met you.

732
00:37:07,370 --> 00:37:09,670
- Yes, well.
- Yeah, well.

733
00:37:14,970 --> 00:37:16,430
Evening, all.

734
00:37:22,970 --> 00:37:26,930
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

735
00:37:26,930 --> 00:37:28,700
Are you ready to order,
gentlemen?

736
00:37:28,700 --> 00:37:30,630
She´s so gorgeous,
I can´t speak.

737
00:37:30,630 --> 00:37:35,530
Ooh!

738
00:37:35,530 --> 00:37:36,670
Dutton, table for one.

739
00:37:36,670 --> 00:37:37,930
You´ve upset her now.

740
00:37:37,930 --> 00:37:39,070
I love ´em upset.

741
00:37:39,070 --> 00:37:41,670
Look at her sulky face.

742
00:37:41,670 --> 00:37:43,230
John?

743
00:37:43,230 --> 00:37:44,770
Let me have that.

744
00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:46,300
Good evening.

745
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:49,200
Would you like some
more time to decide?

746
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,500
Look, I earn 60K a year.

747
00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:54,700
I´ve got a five series BMW
and three Armani suits.

748
00:37:54,700 --> 00:37:56,970
How can you deny yourself
the once-in-a-lifetime

749
00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:58,630
opportunity of going out
with me?

750
00:37:58,630 --> 00:38:04,030
Tell you what, I´ll come back
when you´ve finished, all right?

751
00:38:04,030 --> 00:38:05,830
Finished what?

752
00:38:05,830 --> 00:38:07,230
Puberty.

753
00:38:07,230 --> 00:38:09,030
Ooh!

754
00:38:15,070 --> 00:38:18,430
Right, here´s the menu
and the wine list, sir.

755
00:38:18,430 --> 00:38:20,500
Can I get you something
to drink?

756
00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:24,030
A bottle of still mineral
water please, no ice, no lemon.

757
00:38:24,030 --> 00:38:25,200
Right.

758
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,430
Don´t go, I´ll order now.

759
00:38:29,530 --> 00:38:32,370
I don´t see
the famous steak and kidney pie.

760
00:38:32,370 --> 00:38:34,130
It´s off the menu,
I´m afraid, sir.

761
00:38:34,130 --> 00:38:35,600
The butcher let us down.

762
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,700
There´s cottage pie instead.

763
00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:41,170
Cottage pie?

764
00:38:45,870 --> 00:38:47,770
You´ll never guess
who´s out there on table 3.

765
00:38:47,770 --> 00:38:48,770
Who?

766
00:38:48,770 --> 00:38:50,230
Giles Dutton.

767
00:38:50,230 --> 00:38:52,730
Giles Dutton?

768
00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:54,570
Who´s he?

769
00:38:54,570 --> 00:38:56,330
Giles Dutton

770
00:38:56,330 --> 00:38:58,630
is the most important
food critic in the country.

771
00:38:58,630 --> 00:38:59,870
Oh, God,
that´s all we need.

772
00:38:59,870 --> 00:39:01,400
Another rave review.

773
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:05,600
One cottage, one broad
beans and one carrots, please,

774
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:06,700
for table 3.

775
00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:08,870
Nicola, do you know
who that is?

776
00:39:08,870 --> 00:39:10,930
Who, that gloomy geezer
on his own?

777
00:39:10,930 --> 00:39:12,400
Giles Dutton.

778
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,500
Is it
Far out. Who´s he?

779
00:39:15,500 --> 00:39:18,370
Oh, I give up.

780
00:39:18,370 --> 00:39:22,700
Come on, darling!
Just one more!

781
00:39:22,700 --> 00:39:28,170
♫ Why are we waiting?
Why are we waiting? ♫

782
00:39:28,170 --> 00:39:31,430
♫ Here we go, here we go,
here we go ♫

783
00:39:31,430 --> 00:39:34,700
♫ Here we go,
here we go, here we go... ♫♫

784
00:39:36,730 --> 00:39:38,130
Come on, Steve,
where are my soups?

785
00:39:38,130 --> 00:39:39,530
I´m doing them,
for crying out loud.

786
00:39:39,530 --> 00:39:41,130
Giles Dutton´s pie
ready yet?

787
00:39:41,130 --> 00:39:42,400
In a minute.

788
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,470
Hey, he´s on my table!

789
00:39:45,470 --> 00:39:47,600
Come on, Nicola,
I served him at Langan´s.

790
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,170
- He knows me.
- So what?

791
00:39:49,170 --> 00:39:51,430
So I can chat him up
a little bit, put him at ease.

792
00:39:51,430 --> 00:39:52,770
Steve?

793
00:39:52,770 --> 00:39:54,500
I see,
first you want to take my tips

794
00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:56,430
and now you want
to take my customers.

795
00:39:56,430 --> 00:39:57,930
Steve, don´t forget --

796
00:39:57,930 --> 00:40:00,030
You´re getting a little
paranoid, aren´t you, Nicola?

797
00:40:00,030 --> 00:40:01,800
The fact
of the matter is --

798
00:40:04,170 --> 00:40:05,870
To put the lid on.

799
00:40:12,170 --> 00:40:13,570
Sorry.

800
00:40:17,330 --> 00:40:20,200
Henderson,

801
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,570
do me a favor.

802
00:40:22,570 --> 00:40:28,070
Here we go.
Got your grub, chief.

803
00:40:30,530 --> 00:40:31,770
Listen.

804
00:40:31,770 --> 00:40:34,830
I´m not really a waiter,
by the way.

805
00:40:34,830 --> 00:40:37,470
The name´s Henderson,
I grow the veg.

806
00:40:37,470 --> 00:40:39,870
You see that pie?

807
00:40:39,870 --> 00:40:42,670
The mash,
that´s my King Edward´s.

808
00:40:42,670 --> 00:40:44,870
And the slices of new on top,

809
00:40:44,870 --> 00:40:48,130
that´s a French variety
I´m experimenting with,

810
00:40:48,130 --> 00:40:49,630
it´s called Cornichon.

811
00:40:52,530 --> 00:40:54,170
Would you like a beer?

812
00:40:54,170 --> 00:40:56,970
Hmm.

813
00:40:56,970 --> 00:41:00,300
Only...when you come
to write us up,

814
00:41:00,300 --> 00:41:02,770
perhaps you can mention me?

815
00:41:02,770 --> 00:41:07,130
It´s Hen-der-son.
That´s H-E --

816
00:41:07,130 --> 00:41:09,270
Right, who´s having the soup?

817
00:41:09,270 --> 00:41:11,030
Oh dear, silly me.

818
00:41:14,870 --> 00:41:16,870
- Can I get you another fork?
- Ooh!

819
00:41:16,870 --> 00:41:18,230
- You stupid cow.
- Shut up.

820
00:41:18,230 --> 00:41:19,730
Oi, matey,
watch your language.

821
00:41:19,730 --> 00:41:21,130
You mad bitch!

822
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:23,200
Didn´t you hear what I said?

823
00:41:27,470 --> 00:41:30,930
You stupid prat!
Henderson.

824
00:41:30,930 --> 00:41:34,630
That´s telling him, mate!

825
00:41:34,630 --> 00:41:37,130
That´s enough!

826
00:41:37,130 --> 00:41:39,830
Don´t even think about it.
Do you know what that is?

827
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:42,500
It´s a warrant card,
it says "Old Bill."

828
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,000
Now I want you and your
friends to sling your hooks

829
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,270
and go out of here immediately
or I will have you nicked

830
00:41:48,270 --> 00:41:50,530
and charged with whatever
appeals to my lurid imagination.

831
00:41:50,530 --> 00:41:51,630
All right, now go.

832
00:41:57,130 --> 00:41:59,200
- Chef?
- Yes, Steve?

833
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,400
Have you tried the pie?

834
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:02,530
What?

835
00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:10,170
Good grief. Anchovy sauce.

836
00:42:15,870 --> 00:42:19,230
Ladies and gentlemen,

837
00:42:19,230 --> 00:42:20,730
things haven´t gone
as smoothly tonight

838
00:42:20,730 --> 00:42:22,100
as they otherwise
might have done.

839
00:42:22,100 --> 00:42:26,770
And so I hope you will feel able
to accept our apologies,

840
00:42:26,770 --> 00:42:29,230
and, of course,
dinner is on the house,

841
00:42:29,230 --> 00:42:31,330
with our compliments,
thank you.

842
00:42:32,670 --> 00:42:35,400
Henry, how could you?

843
00:42:44,930 --> 00:42:47,830
Now then,
your personality profile.

844
00:42:47,830 --> 00:42:51,530
Your type is very common
in organizations

845
00:42:51,530 --> 00:42:53,670
like the police force --

846
00:42:53,670 --> 00:42:55,930
conformist, easily led,

847
00:42:55,930 --> 00:43:00,130
dependent on rigid hierarchy
for security,

848
00:43:00,130 --> 00:43:04,430
but not usually in such
an extreme form.

849
00:43:04,430 --> 00:43:10,400
Perhaps that´s why you have
risen no higher than Inspector.

850
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:15,030
Yes. I´ve often wondered
why that was.

851
00:43:15,030 --> 00:43:21,230
Yes, well, you see
the deep-seated fear

852
00:43:21,230 --> 00:43:26,170
of anything to do with
imagination or creativity,

853
00:43:26,170 --> 00:43:32,270
the mistrust of, well, any kind

854
00:43:32,270 --> 00:43:34,930
of emotion whatsoever.

855
00:43:34,930 --> 00:43:37,770
I must ask you, have
you ever thought

856
00:43:37,770 --> 00:43:42,500
of undergoing some form
of therapy?

857
00:43:46,930 --> 00:43:50,470
Will Mr. Harwich Bostson
please go to reception?

858
00:43:50,470 --> 00:43:53,770
Will Mr. Bostson Harwich
please go to reception?

859
00:43:55,100 --> 00:43:56,900
Well?

860
00:43:56,900 --> 00:43:59,500
Fascinating. You?

861
00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:03,170
Well, he asked me
what "Sophia" meant and I said,

862
00:44:03,170 --> 00:44:05,830
"She who goes forth
into the world armed."

863
00:44:05,830 --> 00:44:08,700
He said, "I couldn´t have put it
better myself."

864
00:44:13,700 --> 00:44:18,700
Assessing your questionnaire
was a source of great pleasure

865
00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:20,530
to Kevin and myself.

866
00:44:20,530 --> 00:44:22,670
Really?

867
00:44:22,670 --> 00:44:24,800
Yes, you see,

868
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,070
your personality type
is very rare.

869
00:44:28,070 --> 00:44:30,830
I like to call it
the "artist warrior."

870
00:44:30,830 --> 00:44:35,230
What makes it so rare
is the potent blend

871
00:44:35,230 --> 00:44:39,470
of intelligence,
creativity and discipline.

872
00:44:39,470 --> 00:44:42,370
I see.

873
00:44:42,370 --> 00:44:47,370
There is a downside, of course.

874
00:44:47,370 --> 00:44:51,430
A rebellious streak, which can
become over-dominant.

875
00:44:51,430 --> 00:44:53,300
Sometimes the artist warrior

876
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:54,500
finds that the world

877
00:44:54,500 --> 00:44:57,030
does not live up
to his own high standards

878
00:44:57,030 --> 00:44:59,370
and turns away from it

879
00:44:59,370 --> 00:45:04,870
and may seek solace in cynicism,
or physical gratification --

880
00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:06,730
food, wine, sex.

881
00:45:06,730 --> 00:45:11,570
Spectacular success

882
00:45:11,570 --> 00:45:15,130
or spectacular failure --

883
00:45:15,130 --> 00:45:18,800
there´s no half measure
with the artist warrior.

884
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,230
Really?

885
00:45:20,230 --> 00:45:24,300
Of course, you have
already achieved a great deal.

886
00:45:24,300 --> 00:45:28,130
I would say you have nothing
to worry about.

887
00:45:28,130 --> 00:45:32,800
You are a man who is perfectly
in tune with himself.

888
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:38,000
There´s no limit to what you
might achieve in the future.

889
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,030
I must say, I had my
doubts about this weekend,

890
00:45:47,030 --> 00:45:49,570
but when all´s said and done, I
thought it was extremely useful.

891
00:45:49,570 --> 00:45:50,700
I agree, sir.

892
00:45:50,700 --> 00:45:52,870
Really restored my appetite
for the job.

893
00:45:52,870 --> 00:45:54,470
Exactly, sir.

894
00:45:54,470 --> 00:45:55,900
What about you, Crabbe?

895
00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:58,430
Not very impressed
actually, sir.

896
00:45:58,430 --> 00:46:00,470
What´s up, Crabbe?

897
00:46:00,470 --> 00:46:02,470
Didn´t like
your personality profile?

898
00:46:02,470 --> 00:46:05,030
May I ask what they said
about yours, sir?

899
00:46:05,030 --> 00:46:07,900
Oh, nothing
I didn´t know about already.

900
00:46:22,070 --> 00:46:25,330
All right, Henry, I´m sorry.

901
00:46:25,330 --> 00:46:28,970
I went too far.

902
00:46:28,970 --> 00:46:31,200
You were right, I was wrong.

903
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,970
No more double bookings.

904
00:46:36,030 --> 00:46:39,900
No more answering machines.

905
00:46:39,900 --> 00:46:42,300
Now will you please cheer up.

906
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:44,300
It´s not you, Margaret.

907
00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:47,130
I know you were only trying
to do your best.

908
00:46:47,130 --> 00:46:49,330
Look...

909
00:46:49,330 --> 00:46:52,200
Mr. Crabbe,
we´d just like to say

910
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,070
that we´re really sorry about
Saturday night.

911
00:46:54,070 --> 00:46:56,300
And that all the sort
of problems with Nicola

912
00:46:56,300 --> 00:46:58,430
and about the money,
it´s all been sorted.

913
00:46:58,430 --> 00:47:00,600
Yeah, we did get a bit
out of order,

914
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:01,870
but we´ve had a chat

915
00:47:01,870 --> 00:47:04,600
and there won´t be any more
aggro from now on, okay?

916
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,970
Yeah, and sorry
about the butcher, Chef.

917
00:47:06,970 --> 00:47:08,100
And the anchovy sauce.

918
00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:10,230
Stop --
All these apologies

919
00:47:10,230 --> 00:47:11,700
are making me suspicious.

920
00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:14,030
And we think you should know
that Giles Dutton´s

921
00:47:14,030 --> 00:47:15,830
written a review
of Pie in the Sky.

922
00:47:19,930 --> 00:47:22,900
"My Nightmare Dinner."

923
00:47:24,830 --> 00:47:28,830
"I´m still convinced the evening
was an elaborate practical joke.

924
00:47:28,830 --> 00:47:32,100
"I looked hard but I couldn´t
spot the hidden cameras.

925
00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:36,130
"The staff occasionally stopped
brawling with the customers,

926
00:47:36,130 --> 00:47:39,130
"but only so they could
throw food at them.

927
00:47:39,130 --> 00:47:40,670
"As a result,

928
00:47:40,670 --> 00:47:45,300
"my cottage pie,
of which much less later,

929
00:47:45,300 --> 00:47:48,130
"was brought to the table
by a bizarre character

930
00:47:48,130 --> 00:47:49,570
"straight from the pages

931
00:47:49,570 --> 00:47:52,300
"of one of the more depressing
Russian novels.

932
00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:59,370
"This gothic troll, wild-eyed,
wild-haired,

933
00:47:59,370 --> 00:48:01,800
"face streaked with grime,

934
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:06,500
"and hands encased in
fetishistic pink rubber gloves

935
00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:09,570
"sat at my table uninvited
and lectured me

936
00:48:09,570 --> 00:48:12,100
"on the dangers
of liquid manure.

937
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:14,600
"Then he too joined
the punch-up that

938
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,230
was raging on the other side
of the restaurant."

939
00:48:17,230 --> 00:48:20,000
Oi, Crabbe?

940
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,570
Do you fancy
one of these or not?

941
00:48:26,930 --> 00:48:28,230
Oh, dear.

942
00:48:28,230 --> 00:48:32,370
I suppose it´s back
to square one, then.

943
00:48:32,370 --> 00:48:34,200
Thank God.

944
00:48:35,530 --> 00:48:38,200
Subtitling made possible
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